I Hate Math Homework Anonymous

I'm starting a new support group.  I believe it's incredibly necessary and I cannot possibly be the only parent feeling this way.  Ever since math homework started, nearly 4 years ago, I have developed a profound hatred for math.  I never really liked math or homework much when I had to do it the first time around--now it's even more egregious.  Yeah, that's right, I can use big words.

In fact, I confess, I even hate teachers.  I'm not anti-learning.  In fact, my husband is one of the worst kind of teacher--a university professor.  (Darling husband, I don't really think that.. I just have to say it so that all the teachers won't start stalking me). 

My first career out of college was with the big six (are there 6 now?  what are we down to now.. 2?) accounting firm of Ernst & Young.  That's right.. an auditor.  My son tells me that I'm not adding up the money right and I say, "Darling son, I have a college degree in just that field.  If there's anything I KNOW how to do.. it's count money."  He usually tells me I'm not doing it right and then mumbles something like, "you suck.. you never loved me anyway..." and whimpers away.  My husband (who is so damned lucky that he works most nights and misses this quality time I have with Duke) has a PhD in engineering and he's committed his entire career to teaching.  Yet, Duke thinks he's pretty much an idiot too.  We're both useless.

Why do the teachers do this to us?  Do they want our children to hate us the way they hate teachers and attending school?  Is it a passive aggressive move to show us how much they work all day and no pay in the world is worth this type of aggravation?  I may be on to something...

Here's my plan for our evening meetings.  We get together right after dinner so the kids can all get locked into a room with everything they need--ample pencils, pencil sharpeners, erasers, extra paper, and a warning that they will be released once they complete the homework.  They should go to the bathroom before homework time.  Meanwhile, in an adjoining room, the parents gather 'round and start drinking.

That's it.