It's Just a Splinter...

I was working in my garden the other day.  I'm desperate for Spring.  It was the first time of the year and didn't see my gloves in my bag.  I started digging around the yard without gloves and soon felt a sharp little twinge in my right hand.  It felt like a paper cut but I noticed the TINIEST piece of wood sticking out.  I pulled it and saw that some was still in my hand.  No matter, it will come out later I'm sure.

The next night it started to hurt.  I couldn't even see the splinter anymore.  I stuck a blob of bacitracin on it and a Band-Aid.  By morning it was looking pretty disgusting and nicely swollen.  My MIL (a nurse) and my friend (not a nurse--just bossy) told me that I needed to see the doctor.  Seriously?  Over a SPLINTER?

So.. I went to the doc today.  Apparently there was a "death in the office."  I don't know who it was but no one was there but him and his wife (at reception).  I waited well over an hour to get in but didn't really complain since the situation was what it was AND my husband was home and had the kids.  Sitting for an hour reading my beading magazines was not all that unpleasant.  ;)  

Anyway, I get in the office and tell him what happened and he asks, "Is it still in there?" and I said yeah and he said, "we need to go in the other room."  Now, the other room had a label on the door that said, "Trauma."  Seemed extraordinary considering it was a SPLINTER.

He looked at my hand and said, "I'll need my special forceps for this one..." and left the room.  When he came back he sat down and started to say that it was important to get splinters out, particularly since I was gardening, since I could get a nasty infection.  I said, "that's what my MIL and friend said..." 

He looked at my hand again and asked which direction the splinter went in.  Then said, "Ok, let me peel the skin back..."  Before I could say, "What the hell are you talking about?" He pulled a chunk of skin from my hand.  I tried to yank my hand away (instincts) but he had a pretty good grip.  Then he pulled some more and exclaimed, "there it is!"  It was like a small birth.  He was pleased with the splinter, I stared at my bleeding hand trying to pretend I was excited about the splinter.  So then he said, "let me make sure that was all of it" and dug around a bit more.  He got all of it.

For some reason he saved the splinter and taped it to my chart.  Not really sure why.  Memories?  Proof for the insurance company?  Are things getting that bad?  Then he said, "do you know when the last time you had a tetanus shot was?"  I could not recall and so now my left shoulder is sore. 

Now, when my kids get vaccines we go to the toy store.  So to ease my pain, I went to Michaels and treated myself to some lovely Swarovski crystals.  Seems fair.