Things I Shouldn't Have to Say

Over the past 11 years of being a mother there are a few things I've said that I never imagined I'd ever say.  Here are a few:

 

That ceiling fan cannot hold your weight.

I know they're non-toxic, but your brother still shouldn't eat crayons.

What do you mean you flushed my wedding ring down the toilet?

You cannot put the Guinea Pig in the fridge--they don't like that.

Did you cut your sisters hair?

I don't care if it's dry now, once a cell phone goes through the wash it's pretty much toast.

You are not supposed to draw with permanent marker--especially on my laptop screen.

Where are all the keys to the computer keyboard?

Where is the closest ER--preferably one with triage?

How many stitches?

How many staples?

How long does the cast stay on?

Oh good, all the blood came out of your clothes.

 

To all you moms out there with kids like mine always keeping you on your toes... happy mothers day.  I hope you have a nice, quiet, uneventful day.