Dear Misguided Guidance Counselor

Tonight my son came home to tell me that you gave him advice for me—advice on how *I* can help Duke do a better job with his homework.  As Duke began to tell me, “Mr. Smartypants said what you should do is distract Zilla and Princessa and make a quiet place for me so I can get my work done.  Say.. from 3:30 to 5 or something.” I felt very much like Ursula the octopus from the little mermaid.  Growing ever larger and taller until I could begin to swing and take my wrath out on the school below me. I think my voice, now growl, even began to sound like hers.

Before I call you and yell, “Who the hell do you think you are?” Let me give you a little background.  For the last seven years I have been doing homework, each night, with a son who did not want to do his homework.  A son so delicate that the least little thing would drive him to tears and prolong the pain for both of us.  Even though I have two other, younger children, I managed to make time for him.  Sure, there were times I was nursing a baby while building a Lego tower with the other and also going over math facts with Duke after I had just singlehandedly made dinner for the lot (actually, 2 dinners since there is one picky eater in my house who always gets an alternate meal) after a full day of care giving, building websites, and that pesky masters degree that I was doing, on the side, too.  Now each evening I have two children to help with homework.  Neither of them want to do it.  Both of them want dear ole’ mom to help (and their father works, so it’s just me here)  Is there a quiet private area for Duke to do his homework?  We have a one story 1400 square foot house with a family of five.  I defy you to find that quiet/private spot.   Of course, had you investigated, you would have known that Duke is home a full 90 minutes before that annoying brother you want me to distract and could easily find some quiet time in his own room, on the desk his father built for him. 

Last year I watched my son begin to crumble in school.  He was doing terribly and his spirit was being crushed.  Even though I still work from home and have 2 younger children, I decided I had to rescue my son and pulled him out to home school him.  Was it a lot of work and a decision I made with great trepidation?  You bet your ass it was.  Do I regret it?  I think his current 92 overall average is a testament to what I did with this boy.  When I pulled him out he was failing nearly EVERY subject.  Today?   He will likely be on the high honor roll list, maybe even the principals list for the first marking period. 

And finally, I just want to point out that  I initially sent my son to school already reading, already above grade level in every subject.  And how was he returned to me? Sad and feeling as if he wasn’t smart.  After teaching him for 6 months I have sent him, again, a boy with renewed confidence,  diligently working every night on his homework, doing amazing on tests, and having an overall A average. Before you send this boy home with an armful of contrived advice for ME, I think it is YOU that needs to make sure that you’re doing everything YOU can to ensure Duke’s success.  Either that, or I’ll take him back and do it myself.